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The Peeps Show!

Updated: Apr 3

Who doesn't crave eating the young of flightless domesticated avians? Way back when the years still started a nineteen, you could only find Peeps around Easter. They were part of the Easter motif of chicks and bunnies that makes Christians stare at their feet when you ask them to explain it. Those days are long gone since people have now discovered they like eating marshmallows year round. Who knew? Still, holidays are still in their fluff clogged veins, so now we have a variety of loosely winter themed Peeps. Being that I'm horribly lazy I'm going to review them all at once.


Sugar Cookie

 Do sugar cookies normally have bits of metal foil in them? Why do these have metallic grey bits? I'll ignore that the fudge bottoms make it look like these birds have a case of mud butt if I can get answer on the tinselling. As for taste they really don't stand out. Peeps are already marshmallows coated with sugar, making them sugar cookie flavored adds very little. A teeny tiny hint of vanilla, maybe? You won't be able to taste it once you reach the chocolate anyways. Assuming of course you are like me and eat the heads first like some sort of G-rated Ozzy Osborne.


Hot Cocoa & Cream


I want to let everyone in on a little secret, hot cocoa tastes the same as cold cocoa. Sure it's more enjoyable when it's hot, but the flavor is still the same. It's a secret to everybody. Shh. With that out if the way (and helping me reach my quota of video game jokes), this is really good. The head was rich and satisfying, it really pleases the tongue. The white fudge cream "body" plays pleasant counterpoint and gives a bit of sharpness. I could only imagine how good this would be if you put one in an actual cup of hot cocoa and let it sink like the Lusitania.


Red Velvet


Did my previous revelation blow your mind? Are you still cleaning various skull fragments off of your phones? Hurry up then, I don't have all day. Ok, all better? Good, because this one is even bigger. Red Velvet is just cocoa. Whoa. Yeah. Whoa. I know, right? That being said these do taste slightly different than the Hot Cocoa Peeps, like the amount of cocoa is slightly less. The fudge may or may not be slightly different as well, a bit more dairy tasting perhaps. Still pretty good, but given the choice I'd  suggest taking the Hot Cocoa & Cream. It's also less likely to turn your tongue magenta. I'm also not sure when Red Velvet became a winter holiday flavor, I thought they were going to save it for Valentine's Day, but I guess it was only a matter of time until Christmas fully swallowed the entire calendar.


Sugar Plum Delight


Just as I have blown your minds, now it's  my turn to be surprised. These are the moments I live for, this tastes tastes like absolutely nothing I've had before. Just as candy versions of common fruits exaggerate the high points of their forebears, so too does this taste nothing like a real plum and yet is most clearly plum flavored. This also makes me ask myself some difficult questions. Do I like these because they are so alien or do I like them for their own traits? It's sweet yes, but there's a tart almost tannic background that really sets it apart. The fact that the first one I pulled out has candy crystals only on one side like a confectionary Two-Face is also pretty cool. I'd very much like it if plum candy some day reached the pantheon of candy flavors like grape, cherry, and blue raspberry. That's it for me, these Peeps have made me pooped. Happy Holidays!


By Martin Peyruc

Found at Target