• Martin Peyruc

Peanut Hottie

Updated: Aug 27, 2019



Have you ever had a need you didn't know existed? An experience that shifts your world view? I myself had never thought of heating an entire jar of peanut butter and slurping it down like some sort of twisted legume addict, but now that I do I'm not sure how to go on with my life. Will people on the street see my newfound secret shame? Will I have to slink though the shadows as the Goober Pariah? Will my previous addiction to rhetorical questions subside? If you've ever put peanut butter on a hot English muffin, then you know how this tastes. If you haven't then you need to experience the world more, my little Baby Bird. I'm not so sure about the name and packaging though. "Take me home...love your Peanut Hottie" and the instructions "How To Make Me Hot..." and even the contact information saying to "write me a love letter" seems a bit too sultry. Just how flirty can a beverage be? That's how you end up with a scalded lap. Umm, or so I hear.


Found at Walmart

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