McDonald’s Fried Apple Pie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDy9w0mMCEI

The Reckless Gastronome

Martin Peyruc, Reporter, Life News Today

Gather ‘round whippersnappers, because it’s time to hear “Tales of Back in My Day” with your ol’ pal The Reckless Gastronome. I know there’s nothing the youths of today like more than hearing a middle-aged man talk about how things were when they were a kid (I can’t even type this without rolling my eyes). Yes, McDonalds has brought back it’s Fried Apple Pie after a 34-year absence for something, something, “reasons”. Ok, I’m not being quite fair, they claim it has to do with the 250^th anniversary of the founding of the United States (we start the clock at the Declaration of Independence, not when the Constitution was adopted in 1789, which seems a bit like cheating, but I guess the first 13 years were a mulligan) and then that somehow connects to the expression, “as American as apple pie”. It’s a bit nebulous and tangential when you think about it.

In any event, McDonalds switch to a baked apple pie in 1992 here in the States (except in Hawaii and some parts of California, other countries also still sell it) claiming that it was following a trend towards healthier foods. If you give me a second to put on my tinfoil hat, I think it because they were serving the pies at a temperature close to “magma” (I know I don’t need to put quotes around “magma” but my brain permanently goes to Dr. Evil every time I think about it). Even if the outside was merely warm to the touch, the filling could still be Chernobyl hot. You just didn’t know what you would find inside. This is also around the same time that McDonalds had its scalding hot coffee incident (the lawsuit itself was a couple years later). Yeah, I like my food to be hot, but there are, in fact, temperatures between tepid and war crime.

The oldest recipe for apple pie dates back to England and was printed in 1381. In fact, what we consider to be modern apples, Malus domestica, originated in Central Asia and were brought by European settlers (there is an indigenous related species, the crabapple, Malus coronaria, but they are far less popular since they are smaller and can be very sour). Still, apples hold a special place in the heart and history of the United States. Early settlers found that apples grow particularly well in most parts of the country, although not so much in hottest parts, and that excellent when fresh, they can be preserved easily and also more importantly can be fermented into hard cider which was safer than potentially contaminated water sources. Even one of our mythologized national heroes is Johnny Appleseed (a real person, although his true name was John Chapman) who was famous for travelling west into the frontier (which at the time meant what is now considered the Midwest) and planting apple trees (contrary to popular imagery, he planted nurseries and not orchards and those were cider varieties, which he had neighbors manage and then sell shares). I’m not going to go into greater detail, but he was a notably eccentric person, dressing as a pauper and travelling barefoot, even though he did own a fair amount of land.

Let’s go back to that phrase “as American as apple pie” though. It’s a fairly common expression meaning something distinctly American in culture, but that’s a recent (if you consider the 20^th century as recent and I do) development. It didn’t appear in print until 1920 and it didn’t go into widespread use until World War II when advertisers and wartime propagandists latched onto it as a symbol. Before that through much of the 19^th century, apple pies were much maligned. They were made from dried apples (and were likely made from cider apples which are less pleasant to eat). Around the turn of the century (I don’t count the recent one, and I will probably turn to dust when I finally hear someone unironically use it for the 21^st century) its reputation began to change, if I was to guess (meaning I don’t feel like doing research) because of improved transportation and newer varieties of apple. By the middle of the century, apple pie was firmly entrenched as a metaphor for patriotism, wholesomeness, tradition, and family.

Now to answer the real question, do the new fried apple pies hold up to my nostalgia or has the passage of time polished my memories until they gleamed. To get as close as possible to recreating the full experience I ate some at the store itself (sadly there was no PlayPlace, not that I could fit in the curly slide anyway; actually, my local McDonald’s growing up didn’t have a playground, but rather a collection of fiberglass horrors like a bizarre tree with haunting eyes, which ironically enough I just learned was the Apple Pie Tree). First let me say that they managed to keep the very best part of the original which is the crispy crust. Beautifully golden, with tiny bubbles that crumble delicately on your tongue like waking slowly from a pleasant dream. The temperature was perfect as well, hot, but not so hot that I was worried about recreating the final scene of Raiders of the Lost Ark. The filling was a bit of a letdown, I remember it being thicker, gooier, and having more cinnamon. It was probably sweeter too, people were less health conscious back then, especially when it came to desserts. Even compared to the modern baked apple pie that McDonald’s offer it seemed more subdued. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good, but it doesn’t quite live up to my memories. Overall, the texture makes for a great eating experience, but the flavor let me wanting a bit more.

L.P Hartley wrote “The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.” Perhaps it’s impossible to recreate the fried apple pie of my childhood, or perhaps it is a faithful reproduction and it’s me that has changed. I should point out also, that McDonald’s isn’t the only place selling fried pies, Popeyes has them, regional Pizza Huts have amazing mini-pies that are dusted in cinnamon and sugar, and if you are lucky enough to live near a Jollibee, they have a great peach mango pie, and an ube pie that seems to be sold out every time I go there. I do think McDonald’s has the superior crust, and if it wasn’t a LTO (that’s industry speak for Limited Time Offer, I’m such an insider) and they tinkered with it a bit it could be the best. Sadly though, I expect this to fade back into just a warm (or insanely hot) memory again.

Found obviously at McDonalds