Wingstop Sour Patch Kids Wicked Punch Chicken

Friends, readers, perhaps even acolytes (too far, my megalomania might be running away with me again) we (me) at the Reckless Gastronome are going to try something a little new. This is going to be a bit more stripped (get it, I’m reviewing chicken) down review closer to what I used to write during the early days of my blog. We (still just me) are going to try to get more content (articles) out on a hopefully more frequent basis (it’s a long shot; I am supremely slow at writing). What this means is that I’m going to be skipping some of the history research that I put into my articles. Not all the time but for flavors that I’ve already written about. Unlike most humans (wretched creatures) I strongly dislike repetition, I don’t have favorite foods or even too many traditions. My only goal is to keep trying new things, and to make new discoveries. I would say enough about me, but can anyone truly get enough of me? (Oh yeah, megalomania is in full swing today.) Still, the article must continue.

Since I’ve already written about Sour Patch Kids (see my article on Sour Patch Kids Oreos, https://www.lifenewstoday.com/post/oreo-sour-patch-kids-cookies) and I don’t feel like writing about the history of chicken, it’s far too fowl (what a poultry excuse for a pun). Well, I guess I could give some musings as a treat. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It all depends on how you define a chicken egg. Is it so named because it was produced by a chicken or because a chicken hatches from it? If you think this is deep, we should definitely go catch a Phish show together.

I’m going to admit; I hadn’t planned on writing this article. I was originally scheduled to write about Cup Noodles Vampire Noodles (and I still will, they are coming next, barring my mercurial nature thwarting my schemes) but when I saw a food blogger that I follow posting a picture of bright red chicken wings with blue bits I was captivated. Yes, I follow other food blogs, even I can only wander through stores like a Nazgûl hunting for hobbits for so many hours a day. I’ve had candy and cookies flavored like chicken (horrible), but candy-coated chicken? Sure, it sounds gut-wrenchingly vile, but candied bacon is good, so maybe I should keep an open mind (that always goes well for me). I knew something like this would only last for a short time, so I put my light and siren on my car (I don’t actually have one, but if I could mount a glowing hamburger or something on my roof, you get the idea) and sped off to my local Wingstop. (I also didn’t speed, I’m pretty well known as one of the slowest drivers, I’ll get there when I get there.

Fine, I waited until the next day, there was a slight drizzle and I didn’t want to get damp. You guys are pulling out all my secrets.) Good thing I rushed (shh) too, it’s a very limited time offering from October 27th to November 5th, 2026 (sorry, I doubt I’ll get this published in time, but were you really going to go get them?) I was also told by the manager that I had to join the Club Wingstop (no getting paddled at a robed initiation ceremony, but I’ll probably be getting hundreds of emails, so I know which one I would have preferred). There are also three different formats available, traditional wings, boneless wings, and chicken tenders, naturally I got all three (no, I didn’t finish all of them).

First up I’m combining the boneless wings and tenders into a single grouping. The snarky amongst us will call them all nuggets (or “nuggies” if they are feeling cute and snarky), but there is an actual difference. Nuggets are made from ground and pressed chicken meat from various cuts, boneless wings are made from cuts of chicken breast, and tenders are made from the actual tenderloin or pectoris minor muscle. That’s how it’s supposed to be at least, in reality there’s very little enforcement of these rules, so tenders are often just longer slices of chicken breast. The texture is different, and they cook differently, but by the time they are battered and fried, you’ll be hard pressed to tell the difference. As for nuggets and boneless wings, if you can pull it apart and see the grain (fibrous protein strands) it’s a boneless wing. I’m combining the two because they are both breaded and thus will absorb more of the sauce.

Let’s rewind a bit, because normally I like to start by describing the smell. I would describe it as aggressively fruity, like being beaten by a sack filled with jawbreakers and Froot Loops. It’s strong and sweet, but no one fruit is clearly identifiable. It is not a scent you would expect anywhere near fried chicken, like if Colonel Sanders and Willy Wonka had a horrible mutant love child. The taste is, well I wouldn’t describe it as good, but not as horrible as I feared. It reminds me of orange chicken, but with the orange replaced with berries (which berries? all of them, none of them, the platonic idea of a berry? and don’t give me the “technically oranges are berries” spiel). There are small chunks of actual Sour Patch Kids in blue, orange, and yellow but whatever cooking process has been done to them leaves them devoid of flavor and they disintegrate with a touch. Ultimately the sauce is a little too much, overly sweet with just a tiny hint of the promised sour.

I didn’t expect the traditional wings to be much different, but I was wrong. The lack of breading means each wing holds just the right amount of sauce without becoming sodden. It doesn’t overpower the meat, and it doesn’t get in its own way becoming too sweet. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still not good by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s much better. It’s actually a bit interesting, I can imagine someone actually liking it and thinking it might find other fans (mentally deranged ones, that you would avoid making eye contact with at the bus stop, but fans nonetheless).

Obviously with three orders of chicken, I wasn’t able to finish everything, and in my foolishness I brought the leftovers home. Some of you might see where I am going with this, but for the love of all creation, DO NOT TRY TO REHEAT this. Not in the oven, not in an air fryer, and certainly not in the microwave (or as I call it the Devil Box). The sauce quickly melts and burns making everything stink. If you have to eat them later (like for example, you are writing a review and need to refresh your memory) just have them cold. Still bad, but at least you won’t have to scrub your appliances afterwards.

Uh-oh, it looks like my attempt at writing a mini-review has failed and turned into a regular length article. Drat, I can’t seem to do anything right (double uh-oh, my megalomania has faded and now my crushing self-doubt and imposter syndrome have returned). I’ll give it another shot someday, but in the meanwhile while I appreciate companies leaving their (and everyone’s) comfort zone, it looks like this one is back to the drawing board.

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The Reckless Gastronome

Martin Peyruc

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